


The Rupture

by saawinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry Dean, Angry Dean Winchester, Arguments, Asshole Dean, Caring Sam, Crying Castiel, Crying Dean, Fixing things, Guilty Dean, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post S15EP3, Self Esteem Issues, Upset Sam Winchester, secretly in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-01-04 05:16:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21192191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saawinchester/pseuds/saawinchester
Summary: Dean looked at Castiel differently, ever since Mary's death. The hunter seemed distant, unappreciative and angry whenever it came to Castiel. And the angel would swallow the pain and heartache that came with Dean’s words- trying to remind himself that Dean had just lost his mother.But, as time passed, things worsened. The hunter made decisions without Castiel's input, throwing the angel into dangerous missions, as if he didn’t care whether the angel would get hurt or not. The angel would push on- for Dean and Sam- like a good soldier.Then, the worst happened.He got to know how Dean truly felt about him. The hunter didn’t trust him anymore, the hunter wouldn’t look him in the eye anymore, the hunter blamed him for most of the things that went wrong. And oh it stung, so painfully, that Cass couldn’t stay anymore.One week later, Sam calls Cass for a hunt.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Another fic which touches on the heartbreaking ending of S15Ep3 😥 I really hope Dean and Cass fix things. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this fic.

“Sam, I don’t think-".

Sam didn’t let the angel finish, blurting through the receiver, “Cas, we need you to help us handle this rogue angel issue”.

“But Dean?" Castiel swallowed.

“What about Dean ?" Sam sounded suspicious. It was silent for a few seconds before the young Winchester asked in a careful tone, “Cass, did Dean say something to you after Rowena- um- after the ghost apocalypse? Is that why you’re not here with us?”

Sam was a smart fish. Always was and is. The young hunter also knew his big brother very well. 

Castiel had to tread carefully, because truth is, he didn’t want to talk about the last conversation he had with Dean. It was too painful and still made him cry- because, yes, he was more human now than he was last week. His powers were fading and were soon to be obsolete.

But, his mind would always try to cripple his stability. Always echoing Dean’s harsh words in his head.

_Why is that something always seems to be you!?_

Cass felt his heart squeeze, tears fill up his eyes while he tightened the grip on his cell phone. He tried to steady his voice as he lied through his teeth, “No Sam. I- um- I chose to leave of my own accord”.

_Always protecting Dean._

It was quiet for a several seconds before Sam’s calming voice sounded through the receiver, “Cass are you ok- wherever you are?” 

Cass wanted to burst out into tears. He wanted to fall on his knees and weep. He wanted to scream out how hungry he was. He wanted to tell Sam just how much his heart was hurting. He wanted to tell Sam that he wasn’t an angel anymore. He wanted to tell Sam that sleeping under bridges wasn’t so comfortable- particularly when you’re laying on rocks. He wanted to tell Sam that sitting on a park bench, watching families so happy, made his heart sob.

He wanted to tell Sam alot of things.

He wanted to share his now human feelings.

_But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. _

Cass cleared his throat, “I’m ok, Sam. Where do you want me to meet you?”

Sam responded, “Meet us back at the bunker, we can take off together from here".

Cass felt fear consume him. _What did he expect?_ The angel could feel his heart begin to race and his breathing quickening. He hurriedly responded, “ok Sam. See you in a days time!” Before he could hear Sam’s response, he hung up.

Cass leaned back against the park bench he currently occupied. He closed his eyes and tried to take deep breaths.

_What has he gotten himself into? _

_What will Dean say when he sees Cass tomorrow?_

* * *

Dean was packing up his duffle, when Sam came bounding into his room. “We can’t leave today. We have to wait for tomorrow".

“What!?” Dean stopped what he was doing to raise an unamused brow at his brother. “Why Sam? You know I’ve been itching for a hunt since last week".

Sam leaned against Dean’s desk, arms folded and brows pinched, “And, why is that Dean? Did something happen last week that’s got you on edge?”

Instant guilt and sadness filled Dean’s chest. The hunter switched to his counter-defensive mode and shot back, “No Sam! Nothing happened! I just need to make the world a better and safer place! It’s just the job!”

Sam studied his brother. He knew this Dean. It was a _‘I’ll bury my crap & I messed up'_ Dean. He wasn’t stupid. He could pick up that Cass wasn’t doing so well and Dean- well he knew his brother like the back of his hand. He didn’t budge, getting straight to the point, “what happened between you and Cass, Dean?” 

Sam confirmed that something was up between the angel and Dean, the instant his brothers head shot up, unreadable green eyes meeting his. Then, Dean started to clearly avoid having this discussion by focusing his eyes back to shoving a few more weapons into his duffle. The hunter shrugged, “nothing happened between Cass and I, Sam!” Dean then met Sam’s curious gaze, “Now, let’s get on the road today, Sammy!”

_Ok fine!_ If Dean didn’t want to talk, then so be it. One way or the other Sam would find out what the hell was going on. But until then, they were going to wait for Cas to arrive.

Sam huffed, “Ok then, I guess you’ll have no problem waiting for tomorrow, Dean". The younger hunter headed for the door.

Dean released a frustrating groan, “who in the hell is coming, Sammy!?”

Sam turned to meet Dean’s gaze, blurting, “Castiel!”

_Yup!_ That seemed to jolt Dean where he stood. The hunters eyes owlish, green gaze filled with something inkling to sadness and fear, plus, he was pretty sure tears were clouding Dean's eyes. Sam turned and concluded that something definitely went down last week. He only hoped whatever happened could be fixed.

Sam will have to wait for tomorrow and see.

_Sam just hoped Dean wasn’t going to be an ass._

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep those comments and kudos rolling in!


	2. Chapter 2

The pain in Castiel’s heart was unbearable. The former angel's fears were springing back to life- at full force. Castiel had just gotten out of his_ pimp mobile_, standing there, with his hands in the pockets of his trench coat- just staring at the bunkers rusty iron doors.

The angel was contemplating whether he should just get back into his car and drive off or if he should just suck it up and head on in- where Sam and...Dean would be awaiting him. _Well, assuming Sam had informed Dean that he would be joining them on the rogue angel hunt?_

The phone in Castiel's pocket began to buzz. He clamped his hand around the device and pulled it out of his pocket, heart faltering when he saw it read ‘_Sam Calling_'. He closed his eyes briefly, before he opened them and swiped the receive button and brought the device to his ear, “Hello Sam". Castiel tried to keep his voice as steady as he could.

“Hey Cas! How far off are you to the bunker?”

Castiel swallowed, feeling his heart beat slowly rise. “Um- I’m- actually- I’m outside- the um- bunker- Sam".

“Oh! Great!” Then there was silence on the other end of the line, before Sam spoke in a much more concerned, lowered and careful tone. “Um Cas. Are you ok?”

Sam was too good at picking up on abnormalities, even when the man was on the other side of the line. _Hell of a good hunter!_ Castiel took what he hoped was a silent inhale of breath through his nose before replying, “yes Sam. I’m good. Thank you. Just tired after the long drive is all". He had said the last sentence without giving it much thought.

“Tired huh?” There was a question in Sam's response. _So much for Angel’s don’t get tired- well unless they're human...shit!_ Luckily, Sam didn’t push. Castiel could hear Sam’s footsteps climbing up the iron stairs, the young hunter stating, “I’m coming up!”

“Ok Sam". Castiel knew how to get into the bunker, yet, he felt he couldn’t bring himself to actually enter.

Just as he finished his reply, the door the bunker flew open and a beaming Sam stepped out, making a beeline straight for Castiel. The hunter engulfed Castiel into his huge arms, “I’m so glad you made it Cas!” Somehow, Castiel felt that there was more to this hug.

Sam wanted to hug Cas because he heard and felt how the angel needed it. Deep in his heart, he knew Dean had messed up and said something harsh to the angel. And, seeing as Jack was no more and the ghost apocalypse was taken care of; Cas would have no pressing reasons to sway away from the Winchesters.

_So yeah, something must have happened between Dean and the angel._

Anyway, Sam wasn’t going to jump Castiel from the get go. 

Sam pulled out of the hug, almost frowning when he saw the tiredness on Castiel’s face. He kept his curiousness at bay and stepped to the side, “So, shall we?”

Castiel swallowed the lump in his throat, “Ok Sam".

And so, back into the bunker, Castiel went.

_______________________________________________________________

**Dean**

He could hear their footsteps coming down the iron stairs. He dreaded seeing the angel and his own heart was hurting, however, like the hard headed Winchester he was- he reached out for the bottle of Whiskey and poured him at least half a glass. Once he snapped the lid back in place, he chugged the entire amber liquid in one gulp.

The burn down his throat and chest was welcoming.

He could hear both footsteps halt. He knew they were standing behind him, on the opposite side of the table. Something was stopping him from turning around- he felt locked on the spot. _Heck he froze! _ But, there was a pleasant buzz he could feel bubbling within him which was filling him with the flames of boldness. Yet he didn’t turn around.

He heard Sam sigh, “Dean, Cas is here".

He felt his heart squeeze. His eyes were burning but no tears clouded his vision. He took a deep breath and with all the effort he could spare, turned around. Instantly his eyes found the Angel’s blue lifeless ones. Immediately, he wished that he could just sink into a hole and hide. He was caught off guard by how worn out and....human the angel looked. He couldn’t helped the words that spilled out of his mouth, “What happened to you?” 

Castiel answered in a tired, croaky voice, “I told you Dean. My powers are fading and I’m more human now”.

He couldn't describe the guilt he felt at this moment. He shouldn’t have let Castiel go, but, as always, he wasn’t one to...admit...his flaws. Instead, he cleared his throat and let his mask slip on, “Um- ok- so maybe we should get going. We already wasted a damn day!”

He swallowed up the hollowness in the pit of his stomach when he saw how Cas lips down turned into an even more sadder look. The angel nodded and replied in a barely there tone, “I believe Dean is right. Let’s go do the job before more lives are lost".

From the corner of his eyes, he could see how pissed Sam was at him. His younger brother had alot to say- he could tell- but would probably say it later. Sam’s voice was thick and tight with emotion as he replied, “Ok. Let’s go".

But before Sam could proceed the hunter replied, “Oh and Cas, you get to ride shotgun while I get some sleep in the backseat”.

_Oh hell!_

Now, he and Cas would either seat awkwardly up front or make strained conversation. 

He watched as Sam shot him the ‘_be nice_' glare, before shouldering his duffle and walking away. Meanwhile, Cas looked scared shirtless.

_Great! Just great!_

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are welcomed!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies if things seem to be moving fast in this chapter, however, I don't plan on writing a long fic. 
> 
> Do Dean and Cas work things out?

**Dean**

Driving the Impala was always a stress reliever; today was the opposite. Here he sat, hand on the wheel, trying to focus his entire attention completely on the road before him, or in other words, trying his hardest to not take a sideways glance at the angel seated shotgun.

_Sam that conniving little shit!_ He knew Sam was just pretending to be asleep in the back seat. And he wanted, so badly, to call his little brother out on it, but even then, he found it hard to get his words out.

It was going to be a solid five hour drive to their destination. They were only 30 minutes on the road when the silence seemed to be getting too much, so he reached out to turn the radio on. Instantly REO Speedwagon _‘I can’t fight this feeling’_ started filling up the car.

_Oh for fucks sake!_

He was about to turn it off, when Cas beat him to it.

The angel’s eyes met his in the silence, shrugging, “It’s not an ideal song for times like these, Dean”.

He raised a brow at the angel, “you know the song?”

Cas tore those blue eyes away from his, looking interested at the trees that they passed. The angel muttered, “I’m rock band savvy now, Dean. Metatron made sure of that”.

_Oh yeah! Metatron! _

He harrumphed, eyes back on the road, “The biggest douchebag of them all!”

“I think that there were bigger douchebags than Metatron, like Michael and Zachariah, Dean”, Cas commented still studying the view that went past.

He rolled his eyes and huffed, “Yeah. But they weren’t that stupid to collapse the entirety of heaven, Cas. If you ask me, things got even worse after the angels fell”.

Cas sounded tired when he replied, “Yeah. And I had a big role to play in the angels falling, Dean”. The angel stated, “You even said it yourself. That most of the time when things go wrong- I’m always the root cause. You are absolutely on point there”.

_Crap! This conversation is going so freaken well! Great job, Dean!_

He swore he heard that entirely in Sam’s chastising voice.

He sighed, “Cas, I didn’t mean what I said back in the bunker. I was just- so pissed and tired of- everything. Of the things we have to fix all the damn time, not catching a break”. He swallowed the tightness in his throat, “Mom”.

The quiet that followed was unsettling.

Cas murmured in a shaky voice, “I should have told you about Jack”.

Jack’s name didn’t make him feel much wrathful like before, no, this time it only saddened him. Jack wasn’t here anymore because God had ended him. He replied in a steady voice, “Maybe. But Cas, if we look at the bigger picture, God was playing us all along- Jack included. He did this”.

Cas began studying his fiddling fingers on his lap, “I’m still sorry, Dean. I really didn’t mean for things to get out of control. Now- Jack’s gone, Rowena….and it’s all my fault”.

_Alright! He couldn’t take this anymore! He wouldn’t allow his words spewed out of pure rage hurt the one person he loved besides Sam_. He immediately pulled over to the side, in a clearing that overlooked a vast grassy field.

He turned a little in his seat to face Cas- whose posture was ramrod straight- and looking nervous as hell. Still the hurt he could pick up just by looking at the angel made him feel like the shittiest human that ever lived. _And maybe he truly was._

“Cas. If anyone should be sorry then it’s me. And I truly am”. He gnawed at his bottom lip, “Can you please look at me?”

After a few seconds, Cas did. Those blue eyes held so much heartache and pain- it shook him to the core. “Yes, Dean”.

He wanted to reach out and grab Cas hand, but, didn’t want to scare the angel off. So he licked his lips and settled for just talking without touching. He could feel the emotions swelling within his chest, he could even feel the tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. He confessed, “When you left, after I said all those things- which you so didn’t deserve- all I could remember was feeling afraid. Afraid that I had seriously messed up this time- and maybe I did- but this time, I was sure that you weren’t going to return”. He thumbed the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath before facing Cas once more, “You were there and I was pissed. And all that anger I had for everything that has gone wrong since mom’s death, I decided to take it out on you”. He felt that tear finally slip down his cheek, “Which wasn’t fair on you. I didn’t mean to.”

Cas could only nod, his lips trembled, “I thought I would never see you again, Dean. And it hurt, like hell”. The angel then huffed, “But, when I got that call from Sam. I was beyond thrilled, even though I was consumed by fear and worry of seeing you again”. Cas swallowed, glancing down at his hands, “I thought that I would never get the opportunity to really voice how I feel about you, Dean”.

_What did Cas mean? Did he mean…?_

“Cas, how do you feel about me?” He mentally had his fingers crossed.

Cas shook his head, “I don’t know if I should say this Dean. I mean, I know your preferences as you have made it quite clear over the years”. The angel’s hesitant blue eyes met his, “I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship because of my human feelings of….attraction”.

_Ok. He was done hiding. It was exhausting. From what he could pick up- Cas may be sharing the same feelings as he._

_And damn, did the butterflies flutter in his tummy. Excitement had grappled him._

This time, he boldly placed a hand atop Cas. The angel immediately gasped and stopped his fidgeting, blue eyes meeting his with curiosity. He smiled, “Look Cas, I’m not entirely straight. I also, over the years have developed feelings of attraction to a certain angel. You”.

“Me? But why me, Dean? Haven’t I been- as humans would say- a pain in the ass?”

He chuckled, “I haven’t actually been a good sport for a couple of years too, Cas. I have also been a pain in the ass”. He squeezed the angel’s hand, “You’re my pain in the ass, Cas. And, I would like to explore our relationship further- hopefully move it into a romantic one- but only if you want”. He sighed, “Life’s too short Cas. We, out of all people know that. So I don’t want to waste any more time on being angry and hiding”.

A smile slowly lit up Cas’ face. The angel thread his fingers into Dean’s, “And you’re my pain in the ass, Dean Winchester”. The angel blushed lightly, “I would very much like to work on us too. Let’s not waste any more time”.

_This was good. It was a great start._

_Yeah, he had a mental image of Sam smiling in the backseat._

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are welcomed!


End file.
